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Current Curvy Craves

3.13.2017

It's Coachella Bride Season. Don't Fret, @Nordstrom's Got You #NordstromMonday

Can this be the year we retire the Coachella bride with her flower crowns, and bare feet? I've had enough and all you girls look the same.

I'm coming to you as a friend. I wanted to be one of you when I was engaged and semi planning a wedding but that was 4 years ago. This boho wedding look has run it's course and I'm sick of it. The only exception I'm willing to make are the brides who turn their entire wedding/reception into a full hippie experience. I mean the groom in black jeans, everyone's sitting on tapestries outside in the middle of the country. You brides are my favorite because you don't care about anything, your entire wedding probably cost $1,500 because you upcycled a dress from the thrift store. Your splurge item was your best friend's boyfriend's gourmet, vegan, gluten free, doughnut truck. -sigh-

We're not doing this anymore! (band aid added to protect
her identity although this picture is easily located with a
google search)
For the rest of you who insist on spending $5,000 on a dress that makes you look like you just pranced through the forest when your everyday wardrobe consists of Forever 21 sale items and TJ Maxx designer rejects might I suggest another theme. We can all tell that you went for cheap chic while spending a grand total of six maxed out credit cards. This look isn't for you BUT since you have the budget Nordstrom has an entire Wedding Suite set up to hopefully change your mind! Now, I would politely like to steer you away from the A-line dresses but I know you want everyone to know you worked so hard to lose 10 lbs before the wedding. Honestly? That's the first step towards "have you seen those feet chains? I can totally pull those off under this and not have to worry about heels". Resist. Wander over to something with a little more bulk on bottom or at least an A-line with some tulle. By widening the bottom of the gown you are one step farther away from the maid of honor telling everyone about that one time you went to EDC and 'accidentally' did acid and ended up in the ER. It's a flowchart trust me.
An alternative to fairy chic.
This dress is the perfect example of how widening the bottom of the dress makes it a bit more classic versus being cliche. This dress says my parents have money and I use words like wanderlust without looking out of place at $35,000 shabby chic wedding. Of course, this dress can't be bought online, which you should never do. Please for the love of the wedding gods do not buy your wedding dress online. I don't care what the Etsy shop rating is. Your friends won't care either when the dress arrives 2 days before the wedding, 3 sizes too small, and piss yellow instead of aged golden. Find a local dress shop, road trip to one, walk, take an Uber, something. Go through the process of picking a dress in person.

"So what's the point of showing us this Nordstrom Wedding Suite?" 😐
Obviously for inspiration. This post is to say congrats on your engagement, don't be like everyone else, and don't be afraid to consider a department store for your wedding needs. You'll probably never hear me say that sentence again. Also, put on some damn shoes.

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